This whole no sports thing sucks, and with no resumption of actual cornhole on the horizon, let’s talk some football. There’s been a thing going around Facebook where you name your all-time favorite players from each NFL team. I’ve done that, but I wanted to, as I put it, explore the studio space and explain each of my picks. So, here we are.
Vikings – Randy Moss
One of the greatest WR of all time, when he felt like it. Now, obviously I’m picking him here for his role in one of the greatest seasons of all time, the 2007 Patriots, but he was a beast in Minnesota also. His rookie year in Dallas on Thanksgiving he posted a 3 catch, 163 yard, 3 TD line, and each was better than the last. Dude had size, speed, everything. If you don’t believe me, I’ll bet you, but it’s straight cash, homey.
Bears – Jerry Azumah
Pride of Worcester and UNH, Azumah fittingly won the Walter Payton Award as the most outstanding player in 1-AA (now FCS) in 1998. An All-American tailback, he made the transition to defensive back in the NFL, and in January 2002 had a Pick Six of Donovan McNabb in a divisional playoff game that ended up being the final TD ever scored in the old Soldier Field.
Lions – Barry Sanders
Who else, Dan Orlovsky?
Packers – Reggie White
Always thought he was a cool dude, even if I didn’t agree with some of his ultra-religious views. None of the other Packers ever really did it for me. I almost picked Brett Hundley here just to put Mike Pigatti on tilt.
Saints – Drew Brees
I always liked the guy, even at Purdue, and always believed he’d be a great NFL QB when very few others did, including crucially Nick Saban when he was with the Dolphins. Imagine Brees vs Brady in divisional games? Oh..
Buccaneers – Mike Alstott
Dude was a beast and was just a little bit loose in the head – my kind of football player.
Panthers – Luke Kuechly
Pride of BC. Sad that his career came to a quick end, but if he can keep his health then it’s worth it. Almost picked Jake Delhomme here, but Delhomme remains my favorite QB that threw a TD pass to Ricky Proehl in the last two minutes of a Super Bowl against the Patriots.
Falcons – Matt Ryan
Also the pride of BC. I was blessed to be able to see him play a bunch at BC, and he led them to a NUMBER TWO ranking in the country at one point, including the famous TD pass to Andre Callender against Virginia Tech to cap a comeback from 10-0 down with under 3:00 to go. Almost brought them to the BCS twice.
Giants – Lawrence Taylor
My favorite non-Patriot of all time. Dude literally changed the way offenses handled defenses, and was one of the most destructive forces ever to step on the field. I wore 56 in my younger days in his honor.
Cowboys- Emmitt Smith
Never liked the Cowboys, but who didn’t like Emmitt Smith unless you had to employ him to speak on live TV?
Redskins – John Riggins
The man never saw a defensive player he didn’t want to run over, and claimed he spent offseasons preserved in formaldehyde.
Eagles – Duce Staley
Just for this epic NFL Primetime highlight:
49ers – Ronnie Lott
An all-time great safety. The man had a finger amputated so it wouldn’t interrupt his football career. A man’s man.
Rams – Fred Dryer
Not only does he hold the record for most safeties in a game, he was awesome on the TV show Hunter in the 80s.
Seahawks – Steve Largent
One of the best receivers of all time, and largely forgotten outside of the Pacific Northwest.
Cardinals – Larry Fitzgerald
The one WR in the league I always wish the Patriots had post-Moss, but in the end he belongs to Arizona and he should never, ever play for another team.
Colts – Adam Vinatieri
The Colts can eat shit, but if I had to pick someone I’m picking the greatest kicker in the history of the league, and an all-time clutch Patriots performer.
Jaguars – Tony Boselli
What a blah franchise. Boselli by default, I guess. I almost picked Blake Bortles for carrying my fantasy team a few years ago with approximately 8000 yards and 70 TDs in garbage time.
Texans – JJ Watt
A warrior, and what he did for Houston in the wake of Hurricane Harvey is the stuff of legends.
Titans – Billy “White Shoes” Johnson
The dullest franchise you can imagine, so we’re going back to the Oilers days for ol’ White Shoes. Deion Sanders before there was a Deion Sanders.
Steelers – Rod Woodson
A heat-seeking missile. I wanted to be him when he ruined the Oilers by destroying someone in a playoff game and forcing a fumble in OT to lead to the win.
Ravens – Ed Reed
An all-time great, and one of the best to ever do it at Da U. I mean, look at this roster!
Browns – Jim Brown
This is a franchise who was coached in their last playoff win by Bill Belichick; you’re going DEEP into the past for anyone worth a damn.
Bengals – Ickey Woods
Let’s be honest, if your pick is something other than Woods, Ocho Cinco, or Anthony Munoz, you need to reevaluate things in your life.
Patriots- Drew Bledsoe
I needed a good night’s sleep to think about what I wanted to say here. Remember first off that this is a list of favorite players, not best players. No one with an informed opinion can argue that Drew Bledsoe was better than Tom Brady, though I’m sure Rob Cook will try. Anyways, I was born in 1978, and the Patriots were largely horrid for the 1st 15 years of my life other than a brief spurt in the 80s when they were decent. Things had gotten so bad with a line of incompetent or otherwise pointless owners that the Pats were on the very real verge of moving to St. Louis. While this was going on, the Patriots somehow lured Bill Parcells to New England, and he promptly drafted Bledsoe with the #1 pick in the 1993 NFL Draft. While all of this was happening, owner James Orthwein was trying to move the team to Missouri, but was blocked by the man who owned Foxboro Stadium and held an ironclad lease that stated the Pats must stay until 2001. That man was named Bob Kraft.
We all know by now that Kraft bought the team, and how that turned out. However, the holy trinity of Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft likely would not have ever happened if it wasn’t for the original holy trinity of Drew Bledsoe, Bill Parcells, and Robert Kraft. The first victory was being able to actually watch home games on TV, as the Pats rarely sold out and blackout restrictions relegated home game viewing to the 10 minute ticker on NBC or CBS. Bledsoe was the first elite QB the Pats had in forever (and yes, he was elite for a time), and they started making the playoffs and even gave the Packers a battle in the Super Bowl before falling. Thing is, we felt like an actual NFL team at that point and not a laughing stock, and the rise in fortunes enabled Gillette Stadium to be built. Hell, he was so popular in New England that my son ended up with Drew as his middle name. You know what? Let’s just use a quote from Robert Kraft before this section turns into the length of a book chapter:
“Drew Bledsoe played such an integral role in our efforts to rebuild the Patriots. He gave fans hope for the future by providing many memorable moments during his record-breaking career. For a franchise that had only hosted one playoff game in its first 35 years, winning the AFC Championship Game at home in Foxboro and taking the Patriots to the playoffs for three consecutive years were unimaginable goals prior to his arrival.”
Did Brady & Belichick take it to a level above that? Sure did, and they probably just ended the greatest two decade run in football history. But, without Drew Bledsoe, that might never of happened. #11 forever.
Jets – Joe Namath
Legitimized the AFL and led the Jets to a Super Bowl win, which were both unfathomable at the time. I mean, the Jets winning the Super Bowl is probably equally as unfathomable now, but you get my point.
Dolphins – Larry Csonka
Another beast who ran through people. Csonka, Alstott, and Riggins would be the beastiest and whitest backfield of all time.
Bills – Steve Tasker
Never really liked any Bills besides Bledsoe and Tasker, who really should be in the Hall of Fame. Also, he managed to get ejected from his final game for bumping (which really should be lightly grazed) an official.
Chiefs – Christian Okoye
The Nigerian Nightmare! Dude was nasty and you never, ever wanted to get in front of him if he had a head of steam. A short career but we still talk about him 30 years later.
Broncos – Karl Mecklenburg
I can’t stand the Broncos, so this was tough, but my dad always liked Mecklenburg so here we are.
Chargers – Kellen Winslow
Dude was a straight warrior, especially in the divisional playoff in Miami in 1982. I’m going to let Wiki explain:
“But perhaps the best performance of the game was put in by Kellen Winslow. In addition to his blocked field goal, he recorded an NFL playoff record 13 receptions for 166 yards and a touchdown, despite suffering numerous injuries. During the contest, he was treated for a pinched nerve in his shoulder, dehydration, severe cramps, and a gash in his lower lip that required three stitches. A picture of an exhausted Winslow being helped off the field by two teammates after the game is an enduring image in NFL lore and has been replayed constantly ever since”
Raiders – Bo Jackson
